I have been way too busy to write in my blog, but now I am not so busy so I will write something new for you to read. That is very nice of me, I know. There is another cat at my house now. First there was Holly and then I came and now there is Sampson Thunderpaws living here. Oh and there is still one of those charity cats, his name is Mud but mom calls him "Meow". (The poor woman does not have a creative bone in her whole body.) Enough about her, she is boring. Sampson has really big fur and he is much bigger than me, but not as smart, of course. He used to live across the street with my friend but my friend went forever away and mom brought Sampson to live with us. Sampson recoginizes genius when he sees it, and that, of course, is me. So I like him and I am teaching him the ropes like how to eat out of the kitchen sink. I would put a picture of him on my blog but then there wouldn't be room for my picture.
Remember the post with my glamour shot and details of how I helped mom with her rug hooking? If you don't - you should be paying better attention to me. Maybe you should take notes - I am important. Enough about you - back to me. When the rug was finished, mom put it by the front door - the door outside of which she feeds those charity cats. You know what I think about that! (If not, then you definately need to take good notes.) Everytime I looked at the rug I thought - what if one of those charity cases tried to take it for his own. They are like that you know - first they take food that could have been in your mouth - then they take your warm rug! I couldn't have that! So I marked the rug as mine, all mine. When mom got home from work, she was not pleased with my helping out. She took the rug and washed and washed all my hard marking out of it. Then she put it back by the door and told me not to mark it again. She just did not understand - the poor woman - it's a good thing she brings home cat food and litter or she would be so out of here. Of course I had to protect my rug - so I marked it again. I'm pleased to report that this time she got it. She washed the rug again and now it is in the kitchen where it is safe from thieving homeless cats. I'm putting a picture of the rug in my blog so that you can congratulate me on my good work.
Labels: Saving the rug
I have been very busy lately keeping the riff-raff away from my domain. mom insists on putting out food and fresh water twice a day, every day for "charity" cats. Stupid idea - that means there might be less for me and that, of course, would be unacceptable. I'm having a hard time teaching her that her behavior is inconsiderate and just wrong. I have tried biting, scratching, tripping her as she walks with the bowl of water, even escaping through the open door and giving the charity case de jour a taste of my spikey claws - but nothing seems to get through to her. As a result of her ignoring my demands - I have been forced to show those charity cats who think they could move in with us my enormous brute strength to frighten them away.
One of the ugly beasts has the nerve to sit on the planter box at the front window and peer in at us. When I see this rude behavior I get in the window and up on my rear legs and grab the metal mini blinds. I thrash them and then I bite them until they are limp and curled as a dead snake. Imagine the power it takes to bend and bite through metal. You are scared of me now - aren't you? You should be - I am strong and fearless.
Labels: I am mean
2007 is the year of Wallingford. I have become even more famous and you can find me now on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91aHzPf1sEo . Here I am with mom teaching her how to properly give me treats. In the background you can see the patchwork pony cat that you can have for your very own by sending a self adressed big box to mom. That is one big, fat cat so send a big box.
Labels: YouTube
Last Saturday I went outside for a breath of fresh air with mom and the other cat. I played big game hunter and caught myself a big, fat rat. It was really big and made lots of noise when I caught it. mom came running to see what the noise was and I showed her the rat. She was very proud (of course she was) and started running into the house to get her camera to take a picture for my publicist to use for a press release. Then she noticed that the dirty rat was not dead. She called that other cat because she thought that I, Wallingford, could not dispatch a rat by myself. Silly mom. I told the patchwork, pony-butt cat not to touch my rat and she didn't. I let that rat play dead and then scurry away into the compost pile behind the garage. I did good. Catch and release is not only good for the environment - it is fun for me. mom said that she is not going to let me watch A River Runs Through It ever again. It's not easy being green.
Labels: It's not easy being green.
I had my first anniversay with mom last weekend. A year ago she and uncle butter adopted me. I wasn't at my best back then - but I am perfect now! The fat patchwork cat that lived here first has lost some of her lard butt this year because I give her lots of exercise. mom makes both of us jump through a hoop to get cookies sometimes - but I make that other cat jump up and down whenever I am in the mood. Two days ago I licked her ear - but riding her like a pony is more fun even though she growls and growls at me. Can I help it that I am a stripey cat (and superior to all other kinds of cats) and she is only a patchwork cat? No reason to growl at me - that is rude and disrespectful. Right? You agree with me. Send me your address and I will have mom mail you a patchwork cat for your very own.
Physics is fun! I decided to jump onto the special shelf on the window in the kitchen to check my domain and mom was in the way. She was sitting at the table eating something that she wasn't sharing with me - more importantly - she was sitting in the chair that I use to make the leap to the window shelf. So I gathered up my strength and took a good push off on the glass table and wham! I was on the shelf and everything that used to be behind me on the table had hit the opposite wall of the kitchen and was now on the floor. That is physics - the equal and opposite reaction to my tremendous leap was useless (mom) stuff making fun noises and rolling around on the floor. Then mom decided to get out of my chair - too late - I was already busy looking for intruders.
Labels: Physics
