Sunday, December 24, 2006

Last Saturday I went outside for a breath of fresh air with mom and the other cat. I played big game hunter and caught myself a big, fat rat. It was really big and made lots of noise when I caught it. mom came running to see what the noise was and I showed her the rat. She was very proud (of course she was) and started running into the house to get her camera to take a picture for my publicist to use for a press release. Then she noticed that the dirty rat was not dead. She called that other cat because she thought that I, Wallingford, could not dispatch a rat by myself. Silly mom. I told the patchwork, pony-butt cat not to touch my rat and she didn't. I let that rat play dead and then scurry away into the compost pile behind the garage. I did good. Catch and release is not only good for the environment - it is fun for me. mom said that she is not going to let me watch A River Runs Through It ever again. It's not easy being green.


Friday, December 08, 2006

I had my first anniversay with mom last weekend. A year ago she and uncle butter adopted me. I wasn't at my best back then - but I am perfect now! The fat patchwork cat that lived here first has lost some of her lard butt this year because I give her lots of exercise. mom makes both of us jump through a hoop to get cookies sometimes - but I make that other cat jump up and down whenever I am in the mood. Two days ago I licked her ear - but riding her like a pony is more fun even though she growls and growls at me. Can I help it that I am a stripey cat (and superior to all other kinds of cats) and she is only a patchwork cat? No reason to growl at me - that is rude and disrespectful. Right? You agree with me. Send me your address and I will have mom mail you a patchwork cat for your very own.