AYankeeCat and Friends

2009-02-11T18:11:00.000-08:00

I have been way too busy to write in my blog, but now I am not so busy so I will write something new for you to read. That is very nice of me, I know. There is another cat at my house now. First there was Holly and then I came and now there is Sampson Thunderpaws living here. Oh and there is still one of those charity cats, his name is Mud but mom calls him "Meow". (The poor woman does not have a creative bone in her whole body.) Enough about her, she is boring. Sampson has really big fur and he is much bigger than me, but not as smart, of course. He used to live across the street with my friend but my friend went forever away and mom brought Sampson to live with us. Sampson recoginizes genius when he sees it, and that, of course, is me. So I like him and I am teaching him the ropes like how to eat out of the kitchen sink. I would put a picture of him on my blog but then there wouldn't be room for my picture.

2007-03-08T16:49:00.000-08:00

Remember the post with my glamour shot and details of how I helped mom with her rug hooking? If you don't - you should be paying better attention to me. Maybe you should take notes - I am important. Enough about you - back to me. When the rug was finished, mom put it by the front door - the door outside of which she feeds those charity cats. You know what I think about that! (If not, then you definately need to take good notes.) Everytime I looked at the rug I thought - what if one of those charity cases tried to take it for his own. They are like that you know - first they take food that could have been in your mouth - then they take your warm rug! I couldn't have that! So I marked the rug as mine, all mine. When mom got home from work, she was not pleased with my helping out. She took the rug and washed and washed all my hard marking out of it. Then she put it back by the door and told me not to mark it again. She just did not understand - the poor woman - it's a good thing she brings home cat food and litter or she would be so out of here. Of course I had to protect my rug - so I marked it again. I'm pleased to report that this time she got it. She washed the rug again and now it is in the kitchen where it is safe from thieving homeless cats. I'm putting a picture of the rug in my blog so that you can congratulate me on my good work.

2007-02-11T12:23:00.000-08:00

I have been very busy lately keeping the riff-raff away from my domain. mom insists on putting out food and fresh water twice a day, every day for "charity" cats. Stupid idea - that means there might be less for me and that, of course, would be unacceptable. I'm having a hard time teaching her that her behavior is inconsiderate and just wrong. I have tried biting, scratching, tripping her as she walks with the bowl of water, even escaping through the open door and giving the charity case de jour a taste of my spikey claws - but nothing seems to get through to her. As a result of her ignoring my demands - I have been forced to show those charity cats who think they could move in with us my enormous brute strength to frighten them away.
One of the ugly beasts has the nerve to sit on the planter box at the front window and peer in at us. When I see this rude behavior I get in the window and up on my rear legs and grab the metal mini blinds. I thrash them and then I bite them until they are limp and curled as a dead snake. Imagine the power it takes to bend and bite through metal. You are scared of me now - aren't you? You should be - I am strong and fearless.

2007-01-07T16:36:00.000-08:00

2007 is the year of Wallingford. I have become even more famous and you can find me now on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91aHzPf1sEo . Here I am with mom teaching her how to properly give me treats. In the background you can see the patchwork pony cat that you can have for your very own by sending a self adressed big box to mom. That is one big, fat cat so send a big box.

2006-12-24T18:11:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I went outside for a breath of fresh air with mom and the other cat. I played big game hunter and caught myself a big, fat rat. It was really big and made lots of noise when I caught it. mom came running to see what the noise was and I showed her the rat. She was very proud (of course she was) and started running into the house to get her camera to take a picture for my publicist to use for a press release. Then she noticed that the dirty rat was not dead. She called that other cat because she thought that I, Wallingford, could not dispatch a rat by myself. Silly mom. I told the patchwork, pony-butt cat not to touch my rat and she didn't. I let that rat play dead and then scurry away into the compost pile behind the garage. I did good. Catch and release is not only good for the environment - it is fun for me. mom said that she is not going to let me watch A River Runs Through It ever again. It's not easy being green.

2006-12-08T17:59:00.000-08:00

I had my first anniversay with mom last weekend. A year ago she and uncle butter adopted me. I wasn't at my best back then - but I am perfect now! The fat patchwork cat that lived here first has lost some of her lard butt this year because I give her lots of exercise. mom makes both of us jump through a hoop to get cookies sometimes - but I make that other cat jump up and down whenever I am in the mood. Two days ago I licked her ear - but riding her like a pony is more fun even though she growls and growls at me. Can I help it that I am a stripey cat (and superior to all other kinds of cats) and she is only a patchwork cat? No reason to growl at me - that is rude and disrespectful. Right? You agree with me. Send me your address and I will have mom mail you a patchwork cat for your very own.

2006-11-13T17:34:00.000-08:00

Physics is fun! I decided to jump onto the special shelf on the window in the kitchen to check my domain and mom was in the way. She was sitting at the table eating something that she wasn't sharing with me - more importantly - she was sitting in the chair that I use to make the leap to the window shelf. So I gathered up my strength and took a good push off on the glass table and wham! I was on the shelf and everything that used to be behind me on the table had hit the opposite wall of the kitchen and was now on the floor. That is physics - the equal and opposite reaction to my tremendous leap was useless (mom) stuff making fun noises and rolling around on the floor. Then mom decided to get out of my chair - too late - I was already busy looking for intruders.

2006-10-25T16:53:00.000-07:00

This is one of my glamour shot photos. Don't I look even better than my usual perfection? Of course I do. See that little pink scrap under my paw? That is a piece of the wool my mom was using to make a hooked rug. All cats have an eye for art; we are just born with it and I thought this piece didn't fit into the design very well so I took it away from her before she could put it into the rug. I saved her from a bad mistake. I am, sometimes, "Mr. Thoughtful".

2006-10-24T15:26:00.000-07:00

It is starting to get cold here in Connecticut. mom is too cheap to turn on the furnace and I have short hair so I am miserable. Knocking all the tomatoes sitting on the kitchen counters off onto the floor one-by-one seems to help me feel better. You would think that mom would get the message that I need attention right now when a tomato goes thud onto the floor, but she doesn't. That other cat who lives in the house likes to get in mom's lap and suck up the heat. I hate that patchwork-big-as-a-pony-dog-breath-smelly ole cat. Sometimes my patience wears thin and I just have to bite her from behind (a big target) while she is on mom's lap. Then mom gets mad at me. I'm not the one hogging all the mom heat! Anyway, back to me. I usually can get that awful cat off mom's lap and chase her all the way into the attic and tell her to stay there until I - King Wallingford - give her permission to leave. As if I ever would! Then I have to tromp back downstairs and look mom right in the eyes so that I know I have her attention and bite her really hard. It isn't a good lesson unless I draw blood. She tries to put me in "time out" but I am really fast and can get under the bed where she can't get me. Playing chase with mom is always fun and it helps keep me warm.

2006-10-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

Steeenky day. mom hasn't done my cat box in two days and it is steeenky. Sometimes I like steeenky - like when mom wears her long denim coat that almost drags on the ground and it collects steeenks from the places she has been. I sniff it and when I find a really good steeenk I open my mouth a little and wrinkle my elegent nose to better experience the steeenk. It is like a person tasting wine slurping it over the back of their tongue - without the spitting it out of course. Some steeenks I just have to experience in 3-D by rolling in them. Riggling on my back in the middle of a good steeenk is the best! But steeenky cat boxes are the worst and mom should come home soon and make the steeenk go away. You agree with me, right?

2006-10-17T16:26:00.000-07:00

Slow news day today. It is raining and mom is working until way past dinner time and the other cat is tired of playing pony with me. Well she is as fat as a horse so why shouldn't I get to ride her around the house? Actually, now that I think about someone who isn't me - she has gotten thinner since I moved in. Whatever. Anyway - back to me. mom got upset one night because I got into the refrigerator for a snack while she was at work and forgot to close the door. I really can't be bothered with things like closing doors - nothing in it for me. She said that all her food was ruined because the door was open for like 14 hours. (She's fat as a horse - wouldn't hurt her to skip a meal or two.) None of my crunchies got ruined - so I don't see the big deal. I had opened the refrigerator door before and not closed it and she hadn't gotten SO upset. Anyway she did a bad, bad thing the next day. She put this white plastic thing on the side of the door and now no matter how hard I try - I can't open the door. She called a child-proof lock. How juvenile is that?

2006-10-16T17:49:00.000-07:00

Remember I told you that I am very, very, very smart? You should be paying more attention to me then if you didn't. On Saturdays mom likes to go "crawling" with our Uncle Butter. They take the car and drive to other people's houses and look at their stuff. Sometimes she buys me little presents - but mostly she is selfish and buys things for herself or to sell on eBay. Waste of time and money if you ask me. This Saturday she bought stupid LPs; although they are rather nice to sharpen my claws on when she puts them in the shelves. . . Anyway she put one of them on to play and went into the kitchen to cook and I just had to turn it off. Couldn't stand the thought of there being another King Cat in the house. She came to see why the music stopped after one song. Well, I just reached up and pushed the button that turned the turntable off. So there. She said the music was from Nat King Cole - not Cat King Cole. I wish she would speak more distinctly - it would save a whole lot of my energy.

2006-10-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

Sunday mom sleeps very late. Nothing gets her up to feed me! But when she finally gets up she fixes us "brunch" and that means tuna. Tuna, tuna, tuna flies me to the moon ah! Can you tell that I lo-o-o-ve tuna? The weather was nice and mom let us go outside in the backyard for some fresh air. The other cat ran to the back near the compost pile where she promptly sat down and waited. I, being curious by nature, explored my realm and took a sunny nap. Later the other cat brought mom a dead mouse that she found. I jumped out at her from under the deck where I was hiding and she dropped the mouse. When mom came out to put vegetable scraps out for the worms she saw me sitting over the mouse. I gave it a couple of licks. Blet! Phoo! Ack! I got mouse hair on my tongue. mom didn't even act surprised that I had killed a wild mouse and got a bag and scooped up the mouse and put it in the trash. Maybe the man who steals mom's trash will be impressed.

2006-10-14T17:56:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning mom gets up late. I try and try to remind her that feeding me (and that other cat) should be done at exactly the same time every morning! But she just groans and buries her head under the covers. After long, agonizing minutes of patiently jumping on her and knocking things off the night stand - she gets up and prepares the meagre rations she calls "brekie". She has this bizarre idea that I should share my food with less fortunate cats like the runny-eyed one-eared skinny gray excuse for a cat that shows up on the doorstep at mealtimes. I already share my food with the other cat who lives in the house - I give already - I'm a giver. When I have a chance, I sneak out the door and give that charity case the ends of my spikey paws. He always runs away because he knows who is king. That's me - King Wallingford - the giver.

2006-10-13T17:53:00.000-07:00

Is this the face of a liar? Of course not! mom has been sniffing at the catnip jar again. Everything I blog is the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Mostly, anyway. Would you bother to read my blog if it wasn't full of excitement and suspense? Hmm - I thought not. So we agree - I am the boss of you and mom. Maybe tomorrow I will tell you more about myself - the most important subject in the world.

2006-10-13T17:11:00.000-07:00

Hello there! I need to tell you that the opinions expressed by Wallingford are not necessarily those of myself or my household. In fact they might be fabrications, inventions or downright lies. I do not, nor have I ever, praticed "cat abuse" no matter what Wallingford says. Enjoy Wallingford's rants and raves, but at all times remember - he is ONLY a cat and not the boss of me.

Peace, Plenty and Purrs,

Mem'
a.k.a "mom"

2006-10-12T16:54:00.000-07:00

You came back - I knew you would. Cats know everything. I had great fun last night! My mom left one of the cupboard doors open and while I was cruising around the kitchen counters - I spied it. (Cats miss nothing.) Hadn't been in that particular cupboard before; there could be cat food in it. Well all I found was drinking glasses. Disgusting. mom was busy on her stinking computer and not tending to my whims and wants - so I whacked one of those stupid glasses right out of that cupboard. It dropped to the floor and made a great sound as it broke in a dozen pieces. Do you know that mom was SO ignoring me that she didn't even find the glass until she stepped on it. Serves her right - ignoring me like she did. I'm not, not, not sorry.

2006-10-11T19:38:00.000-07:00

Welcome. I am Wallingford, a yankee cat. This is my blog. As you can tell by my photograph, I am quite the handsome devil. I am also very, very, very smart.